Oh what a week it’s been, y’all. In the past seven days I have acted in my first three shows for the Murder Mystery Company  (in three different themes/scripts, I might add) and attended an open call for Hamilton: An American Musical. As I write this, I am between rehearsals for this week’s MMC shows. This is the most theatre-y week I’ve had in about two years, and I’m am feeling an acute combination of joy and panic. After all, this is just the tip of the actor-writer iceberg. As I add back in other tasks and goals — like exercise, applying for jobs, building my social media presence, working on this blog — my color-coded Google calendar looks less like an organizational tool and more like a rainbow catastrophe.  To steal my baby sister’s favorite catchphrase, YIKES!

I know some of the stress is compounded by fun things like anxiety and self-doubt, so I am also trying to manage expectations and set reasonable goals for myself. Ex: I’m probably not going to lose ten pounds and be cast in my dream role all in one week (although a girl can dream). I’ve committed to being kind to myself by scheduling exercise and down-time, in addition to forgiving myself for missing that 8am yoga class.

Not to mention, the joy part of the joy + panic equation is wonderful and important. I loved playing off my fellow actors and the high school choir group we were performing for during last Thursday’s 1920s murder mystery. I loved donning over-the-top outfits and building backstories and spending a whole day in rehearsal. I loved managing unhelpful audience members and the great relief of eating a meal with my cast mates after a tough show. Last week was hard and exhausting and awesome.  I’m excited to get back in there.

And Hamilton! OMG guys, it was so amazing to be around that many passionate talented brown and black people. Massive congregations of PoC are few and far between in the theatre. There were about 300 people at the open call on a dreary Sunday in San Francisco, a relatively manageable number compared to the overwhelming turnout they must have had in New York. Confession: I don’t have a great voice, and I cringed a little as my notes wobbled in the audition room. (YIKES again, right?) It’s all good though, because just being in the room where [auditions] happened was exhilarating, and inspired me to recommit to my training in voice, acting, auditioning, and what have you. I want to be in a musical so badly! (PS: My copy of #Hamiltome arrives tomorrow and I can hardly contain my excitement. YAY!)

So, anybody know a good vocal coach and audition coach in The Bay Area?  Do you have tips for self care in the midst of career chaos? Let me know in the comments! I’m tryna get my life right, y’all.

Love and theatre (and the hustle),

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