On Trying to be a Real, Grown-up, Functioning Adult

After graduating college back in May, I’ve been trying really hard to be a grown-up. Every fiber of my artsy, creative soul rebels against things like “budgeting” and “sleep schedules” and “dress pants.” However, day-by-day I am mastering the art of being a competent, responsible, grown-up human. I cook for myself  on a regular basis, and I semi-regularly do Pilates.  I’m learning to maximize my productivity (#buzzwords) at work  and in my creative endeavors.  It ain’t easy, but its got to be done. When I’m acting like an adult, I find that my days are actually less stressful and fun things are  more fun. Here, in no particular order,  are a few things I’ve learned and observed in my mystical quest to be a Real Adult.

1. Cauliflower, although bland, tasteless, and dare I say disgusting raw, turns into a magically delicious potato substitute when roasted. Seriously. Try tossing em with salt, pepper, and a little oil, then pop those bad boys in the oven for 40 minutes on 400. Mash em, thrown em in an omelet, eat them as is. You won’t be sorry.

2. In fact, everything is better roasted. Chicken, fish, veggies, chocolate. Ok, maybe not chocolate. (Unless we’re making s’mores??)

3. You can fit in a work out if you can fit in 2 hours of browsing through BuzzFeed. This is a hard-learned fact of life.

4. The shorter the to-do list, the likelier you will be productive.  And the longer and more convoluted, the likelier you will spend your day in a Facebook-fueled anxiety paralysis.

5. No matter how tired you are, or how bad your day was, your dogs will still want to cuddle, and it will be wonderful.

6. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you will eat an entire tray of cookies.

7. The cookies will be damned good.

8. I don’t think I’ll ever understand the concept of networking happy hours. You want me to leave work, put on heels,  drive through traffic, pay for parking, and go have cocktails with people I don’t know?? AND pay for drinks??? Can’t I spend happy hour with my cuddly dogs instead?

9. I am becoming dangerously close to the type of person who goes to sleep at 10pm and considers 9am “sleeping in.”

10. Whilst in traffic, I make elaborate plans to singlehandedly overthrow the car-industry via an expansive system of high-speed trains (despite my theatre degree….)

11. My mom wasn’t lying when she told me  practice makes perfect. A few years ago, I could barely make Kraft mac ‘n’ cheese without burning my hand on the water. Now, I’m cooking fully-formed meals that my family actually enjoys. (Or they’ve become experts at sparing my feelings.)

12.  Adult life crises are different than in college, but no less terrible. In college, it was a 2am computer crash or a 8:55am printer malfunction. Now, its blown tires and forgetting to buy milk (again? UGH. How can I eat this tray of cookies now? I’m not a heathen.)

13. Calling the guy at Wells Fargo is  much less stressful than the actual annoying problem you have because you’re avoiding calling the guy at Wells Fargo.

14. Everything that happens, every up and down and set-back and triumph can be turned into material. You might see my novel “I Hit Send Before Finishing The Email” on horror shelves one day.

Some days, it’s really fun being 22 and a little scared with my whole life ahead of me. Think of the possibilities! But other days, I just want to be 30-years-old, comfortably nestled in a little suburban house with a husband, kids, and a multimillion dollar entertainment empire.  Ok, ok, fine. I’m being unrealistic. Forget the husband and kids. 😉

Love and theatre,

-K

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